How Emotionally Intelligent Are You? Exploring the Six Seconds EQ tools
To skip the article and find out your “EQ score”, contact me to find out more. Scroll down to find out more about the tools I use!
How well are you able to recognise what emotions you are feeling at any given moment? How about recognising what makes you angry, and finding a way to navigate that feeling rather than lashing out? Are you "self smart" - or are you living at the mercy of your emotions?
Emotional intelligence (EQ) is the ability to understand, manage and use emotions effectively. This includes having a deep understand of how we're feeling, what could have caused it, and how we could act differently. It also includes understanding other people's emotions and reactions, which can massively transform our relationships.
In his 1995 book Emotional Intelligence, Daniel Goleman - perhaps the man who brought EQ into the public conversation - suggested that EQ was far better at predicting success in life and wellbeing than traditional IQ. Watch him talk about it here.
But why should we care about emotions? Many of us have been taught that emotions are silly or childish - that we should ignore or repress them. However, this usually makes the problem worse. Just as the sensation of being hungry exists to tell us to eat, emotions give us vital information about our surroundings - and humans have evolved to listen to this information. Can you imagine what would have happened if our ancestors had ignored their fear when they saw a lion running towards them?
Of course, few of us have to run from lions these days, but our bodies are still wired to respond in the same way - some say we have a Stone Age brain in a digital age, and our bodies respond to angry bosses or rejected messages in just the same way as our ancestors would have responded to a threat to their lives. Because of this disconnect, it is easy to dismiss emotions as being irrational or silly, and while it is true that our emotions reactions come from perceived threats rather than the actual risk level (for example, look at the woman who is unable to feel fear, even in life-threatening situations) - but this doesn’t change the fact that when we ignore emotions, we are only looking at a fraction of the picture. We are trying to understand a painting by viewing it in black and white. Emotions are vital data and we ignore them at our peril.
Imagine you are in charge of hiring at a company, and despite the generous holiday and salary package, people just keep leaving. It is often said that people leave bosses, not companies. And if we are really honest with ourselves, are we likely to stay in a job where our boss makes us feel ashamed, angry, or belittled? How likely are you to stay in a job where you don’t feel a sense of belonging, of excitement, or at least a good sense of fun, if you have the opportunity to go elsewhere? Plenty of evidence now exists to show that people largely make decisions based on emotion, not on pure, rational logic as it was once thought.
When you are emotionally intelligence, you can become aware of how your emotions may sometimes lead you to make decisions that aren’t that good for you - because an advertising executive somewhere knows exactly how to manipulate your insecurity to make you buy their product. Connecting with your emotions allows you to take control of your decisions. on top of that, improving EQ can improve school performance, improve your business's success and reduce turnover, and generally reduce stress and increase wellbeing. Check Six Seconds’ Business Case for improving EQ here.
The Six Seconds model of EQ
Six Seconds is the Emotional Intelligence network, and as a Six Seconds certified EQ Assessor, I start with the Six Seconds model of EQ. This is not purely theoretical model, but a guide for putting EQ into action in your life.
This model of EQ-in-Action begins with three important goals: to become more aware (noticing what you do) - the what; to become more intentional (doing what you mean) - the how; and to become more purposeful (doing it for a reason) - the why.
When these three things are not in balance, it can lead to problems. Are you constantly in 'action mode' but not really clear on why you're doing it? Are you aware of how you feel, but feel like you can't do anything about it? Your EQ score will show you how you're doing on these three areas, and will further break your score down into the eight 'competencies' of EQ.
The Six Seconds Emotional Intelligence Assessment (SEI®)
The SEI is a scientifically validated, practice measure of EQ that provides not only a detailed assessment of EQ but a framework for action. As well as measuring your score on the eight competencies of EQ, the SEI measures your 'success factors' - how you're doing on a range of measure in your life, such as relationships and wellbeing.
SEI is used in over 150 countries for a broad range of training, coaching, selection, and development needs in organisations and is available in 20 languages. Read all about it at the Six Seconds website.
The results of your SEI can generate several reports - the detailed Leadership Report, a Development Report, or the Neural Network implements cutting-edge AI to select the most relevant, powerful questions to move you forward.
The SEI can only be used with a thorough debrief - that's where I come in! Your first coaching session will help you to understand the results of your SEI, what it means for you, and to give you clarity on where you want to go next.
EQ Coaching is coaching that doesn't lose sight of the vital importance of noticing and understanding our emotions. It's important to note that the goal isn't to "max out" your EQ score - it's to use it as a starting point for our conversation. Whether you are trying to gain insight into yourself, find purpose, improve communication, or remove the barriers stopping you from reaching your full potential, coaching with EQ in mind makes sure that we're not missing vital information.
Brain Styles and Talents
The SEI can also produce a range of other reports for you and your family, group, team or organisation:
Brain Brief Profile - are you a Strategist, and Innovator, or a Visionary? The Brain Brief Profile shows your brain's preferred 'style' and can help you understand and harness your strengths and provide vital insights into conflicts and blocks between people
Brain Talent & Discovery Profiles - Focusing on 18 'Brain Talents' such as collaboration, critical thinking and resilience, find out which "apps" your brain runs the most. A great tool for using your strengths to propel you forward and harnessing your full potential.
Brain Talents Dashboard - Teams and organisations can make use of the Dashboard, a detailed tool that provides a clear overview of a team's EQ strengths and weaknesses. It can be used with 5 to 1000 people.
More on the Brain Profiles here
What do we do next?
If you work with me, we will discuss which of the Six Seconds reports will be the most relevant and useful for you, and I will include a full debrief as part of our coaching work.
Of course, your EQ score is not set in stone - firstly, it will vary depending on how you’re feeling at the time and what’s been going on in your life. But I find the variation is not that much, even when people think they have been in a completely different mood from the first time they took it.
We will look at how your EQ is affecting your life, and focus on areas of improvement. Through a series of exercises, including the use of an EQ journal, we will work towards “improving” your score - although the aim is not to max out all of your EQ competencies, but rather to make sure that you are in balance.
For teams and organisations, there are workshops ranging from 2-hour to 3-day sessions that really help you to see how EQ plays a huge role in everything from decision-making to productivity and motivation. I also use the Brain Styles/Talents to help you work out why some clashes and conflicts may be arising, as well as how to harness the strengths each person in your team (for example, do you have a secret Visionary who isn’t getting to use their talents for good?).
Want to find out more about EQ?
Six Seconds host quarterly EQ Cafes around the world - free workshops where members of the public are invited to explore issues connected to emotional intelligence. As a network leader for Prague, I will be hosting them here, so keep your eyes peeled for events on the Six Seconds website!
Check out my events and courses page to see what I’m offering connected to EQ, and contact me if you’re interested in finding out your EQ - either for yourself, your family, your organisation, or whatever other collection of people you have in mind!
